WAGs in the time of Corona

By Priyabrata Chowdhury

While they doubtlessly mean the world to you, left to their company for 21 days when workplace shuts, as do just about everything around you, you’d pine for a return to bachelorhood or, quite simply, crave a monk-like solitude, a space where there are no ‘wake-up’ nudges or ‘put that phone away’ glares.

If you’re still wondering who my opening lines were directed at, they’re the doting and dutiful wives or girlfriends only as long as you don’t give them a reason to turn crimson in the face and display a distinct tightness of jaw that makes you go limp from stem to stern.

While staying safe indoors as a deadly contagion is on prowl is a non-negotiable priority, a lockdown won’t appear as wishful and rosy unless your partners go to bed with the belief that their pets are behaving as they should and won’t sneak out to the balcony for a drag or swig or tune into Netflix on the sly.

And, it’s just as well, at least for their partners’ sakes, that there’s no sports on air at this time as they’re as good as any when it comes to wrecking a ‘happy’ home.

Well, take it as sage words from someone who has seen and suffered the perfect storm unleashed by a wife dangerously unhinged. If you want that bewitching smile on your partners’ lips to last the lockdown, go wash the dishes when they’re not asking you to, wield the broom and mop the floor before they’re awake and keep the breakfast steamed and ready to serve
while they’re still frothing their mouths with toothbrushes.

To put it simply, don’t give them the slightest sniff to fly off the handle. Else, not even the corona can be of any help.

So, chin up boys. Let God and good sense be with you.

Priyabrata is a journalist and a wary husband.

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